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January 27, 2021, 11:15:25 PM
Tonight's Tale of Woe:
My nemesis was lying prone, apparently defenseless. I pinned it in place and held my weapon aloft, prepared to deliver a mortal wound.
"Haha!" I cried. "This shall be the end of you!"
The enemy, however, was wilier than I had realized. In my overconfidence, I was caught completely off-guard by its swift evasion, as it rolled out of the way of my deadly stroke. Gleaming steel slid along its surface, but failed to slice vegetable flesh. Instead it found purchase... in my thumb.
Thud! Slash! In that moment, the tide of battle had turned. Like floodwaters through a dry riverbed, blood spilled down the creases of my hand. But worse than the pain of my injury was the pain of my shame.
In that moment, I knew... the orange menace had won.
Carrots 1, Auri 0. DAMN YOU, CARROT.
(And tomorrow, I get to call to make sure my tetanus vaccination is up to date. Whee.)